We are both expats
born in a totalitarian state
do you spy on me?
do you install the bug in a room where my own self-made secret service resides?
Did you do it when I was in the shower?
Fried eggs go with a gossip column for KGB newspaper, do you feel safe with me knowing that you know what I know?
Do you report to your supervisor about my nervous breakdowns?
Have you killed yourself dozens of times like I did to feel what it feels like
being outside?
in a free space where the history starts and the story ends who are we to blame for the structure of the universe?
We have killed illusions of millions.
We have killed phantoms of their hope in order to tell the truth amidst the singing of a hymn by those who shitted on their own flag
behind the scenes
have we succeeded?
I was away from being at peace for too long ever to be peaceful.
I have been aware of my time for too long
not to feel the pressure of a second over my shoulder that was already shattered by a century of lies and
and agitation;
after all those years of lies we lived in how could we maintain that integrity they say we still have?..
For almost a century we’ve been in that void we’ve barely escaped.
The century of a Biggest Lie:
of Oil
and Hunger.
That mistreatment of reality never forgives and seldom forgets.
By the way
are you still caviar-seek?
Now let us talk about that.
Now let us do exactly that.
Have you ever tried caviar with the cheap bread with no butter available in a local store?
Have you seen portraits of the mass murderers on the walls of the elementary school portrayed in their childhood?
Mass murderers whose biography was falsified and twisted in a way that would hide the drama of whole nation set on fire and destroyed meticulously and yet so fast like a tide swiping a sand-castle into the ocean.
the void of ignorance
and untold stories
of murders that built the foundation for a new totalitarian state to emerge on the rumbles of a falling colossus.
Or you truly just want a normal life after that, staring at the street from a window with no window pane?
Aquarium fish may know better.
The dualism of a duelist:
Pushkin always wins in a long run but isn’t it good to be d’Anthes in the end?
What’s your choice, kid?
Every untold story of such a chain of events makes us feel we’re back
in the
Have you learned the stance to the totalitarian leader?
Were you forced to recite it by heart?
Were you a believer?
Have you escaped?
Do you care?
And now?
Were you afraid to give birth to someone when your enemies,
your murderers
all of the heroes of the falsified history still walk free?
And the newborn walk their path?
Was your source for information ever killed right after you record his confession?
Have you ever preserved his legacy?
Do they still have names?
Have you been reporting what you saw or just what you were told?
If «yes» you are my friend.
If «no» I don’t know your name.
As the customer looses the count of the lambs
taken to the Biblical spot
of a supermarket of the worlds history
where food has always been served amidst the news on a silver-screen interrupted with ads
of a political party that claims «never again»
or just promotes some big lie
born anew
to make it